X-Gay
by lxk
Summary: After All New X-Men #40, Robert and Bobby Drake have something to talk about. And Jean is there, because she needs to hear some things as well. No pairings. First X-men fic (and first fic in a long while). R/R
1. Chapter 1

So. All New X-men #40 happened. Here's what I think what will happen/ should happen. At least until The story is finished.

When I refer to Bobby, I'm referring to Teen Bobby, when i refer to Robert it's the adult Bobby.

**Chapter 1**

Bobby stared at the name displayed on the door. It was supposed to say "Robert Drake", but someone - oh, let's not kid ourselves - Bob- Robert had crossed out the "Robert" with a magic marker and written "Bobby" underneath. The alteration was something that Bobby would have done himself (obviously), but now, it seemed to be more... ominous.

Ever since Bobby had come clean with Jean and, more obviously, himself about being gay, he had wondered just how much he had grown up. Hell, ever since he first arrived in the future, he had wondered that. Somehow, that his older self had still not accepted his first name seemed a bit juvenile.

Bobby sighed.

"It's just a nickname. You've had it since you were two minutes old. It doesn't mean that..." He trailed off. This place was probably filled with people with super hearing or who could hear the recent past or any kind of powers. Hell, he was in this situation because Jean hade overheard his wasn't ready for the rest of the school to know just yet.

How was he going to do this. He scratched his head.

"Maybe I shouldn't. I mean, I wasn't too happy with Jean confronting me, but I've only lived in denial for a couple of years. He's... I'm... 15 years later. He... Maybe this really isn't my future, maybe..." Bobby's thoughts trailed off. He knew he had to to it. He sighed again, held his breath and knocked on the door.

"Hang on!" He heard a voice from inside, along with a rustle of clothes, just before the door opened. In the doorway now stood his older self, Bob- Robert Drake, smoothing down his sweatshirt. Robert glanced at Bobby and his face fell a little.

"Do you know just how strange it is to expect leftover pizza and instead get the pizza-faced version of yourself? I can't even think of a metaphor to fit this!"

"I don't have zits!" Bobby answered. Why did all his encounters with his older self always either start or end like this?

"Not yet. Make sure you moisturise" Robert said. "What do you want?"

Bobby felt even more ill at ease at Robert's curt tone. He looked around and lowered his voice.

"I, uh... I need to talk to you about something. In private".

Robert seemed to straighten up at that, and stepped aside to let Bobby in. Bobby walked in and walked as far into the room as he could. It was messy, but Bobby could sense the same sort of feeling he always felt in his own room. Maybe they didn't have the same things and posters (What kind of a name for a band was "fun."?) but there was the same sort of order. Bobby took another deep breath and turned around.

"So, uh... I'm gay."

Robert's eyebrows went up. His jaw dropped for a moment.

"And... I know that you... don't seem to be, and I don't know about... your life or anything like that, but, you know, everyone says that we actually are you, and i... Jean already knows, and I..." Bobby had to stop to take a breath. Robert held up a hand to stop him.

"Whoa, slow down. Did you just... come out?" Robert looked stunned. Bobby nodded his head, still holding his breath. Robert looked away.

"Wow. Never actually thought you'd do it." Robert said.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"You... you know?" Bobby asked. Robert smirked a little at the question. "I mean, of course you know, but..."

"But I'm straight?" Robert asked.

"Yeah, I mean... like I said, you seem straight" Bobby replied. He had known this was going to be a weird conversation, but he had really not grasped just how odd it would be to actually be in it. "Are you?" he finally asked.

"Yes, I am" Robert said, sighing, taking a seat on his bed. Bobby looked around and saw a recliner that he decided to sit on. "Confused?" Robert asked. Bobby nodded.

"It's a... story." Robert said and bit his lip. "Look... It doesn't matter. Go be gay. There's this kid called Victor, he's a bit of a whiner, but he's good at heart and I think you could hit it off if you could lower your standards a bit, though i guess your standards aren't that very high since I remember checking out Scott."

"Hey, hang on." Bobby said."First, I've already met Victor, and no thanks. Second, you're not getting out of this now, what happened to you?" Bobby almost exploded as his older self. "Did you just... stop? Fake it with everyone?" Robert looked sadder.

"I didn't fake it per say, it..." He stopped and leaned forward. "Look. This is only going to hurt you. Might hurt others. And whenever you go back, it's going to happen anyway. We can just act like we aren't the same guy.

Bobby shook his head, even angrier now

"Oh come on! What, like half way out of the closet? I'm gay, but soon I won't be?"

"That's pretty much what's going to happen anyway" Robert said. His tone now smaller.

"Like Hell!" Bobby screamed. "I'm not gonna start lying again, just because you've lied you entire life-"

"I DIDN'T LIE" Robert screamed. The room grew deathly cold. Ice formed and covered every visible surface, covering it by at least an inch. Robert took a breath. "Damnit" he said. " I hate when i do that." Takes forever to thaw everything out."

The sat quiet for a minute. Bobby didn't take his eyes off Robert. For a few moments he had felt such contempt of his older self, but it was now fading.

"I want to hear it" Bobby said. Robert looked back at him, now with a new look of surprise.

"Wait... did you say you told Jean?"

"Yeah... I mean... she already knew, and she... well she confronted me about it and..." Bobby shrugged. "Telepaths. man."

Now it was Robert's turn to get something dark in his eyes, for just a moment.

"She... read your mind and then decided to talk to you abut it, is that it?"

"Yeah... I mean, she meant well..." Bobby trailed off.

"Sure she did." Robert stood up and put his fingers to his head. After a while, he sat back down. "I'll tell you what happened in a minute."

"Why a minute?" Bobby asked.

"Because that's when Jean get's here." Robert said. "And after I chew her out."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

There was a soft knock on the door. Robert stood up and went to open.

"It's messy and cold, but you'll have to live with it for now." he said, as he let Jean in. He brushed off some ice off another chair. Jean looked nervously at Bobby.

"So, i see you told him", she said. Bobby nodded. Jean looked back at Robert. Robert held up his right index finger before she said anything else.

"First up, don't do stuff like that. I know you meant well, I know you're inexperienced with telepathy, but still, you offer help, a shoulder to lean on. You don't just... tell someone they're gay. Bullies tell people they're gay and it can lead to a lot of pain, and the same can happen if friends do it too, even if they mean well." Robert extended his right long finger.

"Second, just because you know something about someone, doesn't necessarily mean that it should be said. I am, however, going to break that rule in a couple of minutes, so just take it on faith, do-as-I-say for now." He held up his ring finger.

"Third... thanks for being his... and my friend. For what it's worth." Robert smiled a little.

"But seriously don't do stuff like that. You're going to hear a lot worse stuff, and you can't always butt in on someone else's business."

He sat back down on the bed. Jean sat down as well, still silent.

"I know i shouldn't have, but... seriously, you must remember how it felt. You... he was hurting" She said as she looked at Bobby, who couldn't meet her eyes at that statement. "I just... wanted to help."

"Like I said, I know", Robert said. "But... trust me when I say this, it could have gone bad. You know what people think, but you can't always predict what they'll do. Well, not yet you can't, i guess."

Jean nodded her head at that.

"Is that why you wanted me to come up here?" Jean asked. Robert shook his head.

"Well, at least not just this. I want you to read my mind. See if you see the same thing in me as you saw in Junior over here." Robert looked at Bobby. "You need to hear it from someone else."

"I consider myself Bobby the First, not Bobby Junior", Bobby grumbled.

Jean sat up and put her hands around Roberts head.

"Only Gay/Straight/Other now, you hear?" Robert said. "There's a whole bunch of stuff in there."

"Doubt it", Bobby said.

"Dude, stop insulting yourself" Robert said. "Or I bring out the "Your Mama"-jokes."

The three sat in silence for a while, until Jean removed her hands. She looked incredulous.

"You... You're straight?" She asked.

"Close enough", Robert said.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Robert leaned back. taking a breath. he closed his eyes. Bobby and Jean waited.

"The other telepaths here already knew all of this. They usually don't talk about it because... well. It's impolite or something. The rest don't know though, so... I guess you know way too much about the future already, so this is just one more thing you'll have to live with. When I was you... Yeah, I was gay. and... " Robert looked away.

"I didn't handle it well. Jean didn't have her telepathy, and Charles... Charles tried to help. He wanted to help, but I didn't want to be helped, and if you don't want the help..."

"Oh God..." Jean said. "The professor didn't..."

"No, he didn't" Robert cut her off. "He didn't erase it. I begged him to, but he said he wouldn't do it, anymore than he would take away my ice." Robert looked sad at the memory.

"At the time, I was trying to fake it. I had a girlfriend named Zelda, and... whenever i went out on a double date with Hank and... Vera, I think her name was, I could just feel that I wasn't doing a good job of it. I mean... I hope I came off as just a goofy kid, but... I felt like it wasn't going to get any better at it. I was gay, mutant and the future looked pretty damn bleak." Robert took another breath. Bobby took one as well.

"At the time... Charles had to... do something. He had to do it to protect the world, but it meant he couldn't be with us. We thought he was dead. Which meant that the only truly positive role model I had in my life to count on... was gone. That wasn't cool, and when he came back we all said so. That was just when your telepathic powers started to kick back in, Jean." Robert looked at Jean and looked down again. Bobby looked at both of them "Back in? he thought.

"I was really... really depressed. And... I was about to do... something rash. Something bad. And... irrevocable." Robert looked at Bobby. "You know what."

Jean looked from Robert to Bobby with a scared look. Bobby squirmed uncomfortably at the thought of what his older self was implying.

"You were thinking of..." Tears formed in her eyes. "You were going to..." She couldn't finish.

"I don't know if I would have done it" Robert said. "But... You were there Jean. You stopped me."

For a moment Jean looked relieved. The moment ended when she realised that Robert didn't look happier.

"Here where I have to hurt you just a bit, Jean. I'm sorry." Robert said. He looked back at Bobby, who was on the edge of his seat.

"Jean's telepathy didn't just appear after her telekinesis. They were the first powers she had, not the other way around. They manifested when-"

"No, no, please", Jean screamed in Robert's head, the tears forming again. Robert took her hands and thought back at her.

"You peaked ahead" Robert said. Jean nodded, the tears now falling.

"He wants to understand me. That means, in this one way, he has to understand you. If he doesn't know the whole truth... he's going to hate you."

"How do you know that?" Jean thought back, before she caught herself. "Because you hate me."

"For a little while I did. I don't now. and haven't for a long while, because you told me what happened." Robert thought back. Jean looked at Bobby, who looked confused.

"This is what it feels like when someone knows something about you that you don't want them to. He's probably scared that you're going to out him, even if it's just by accident." Robert thought. Jean nodded.

"At least, let me tell him my part. the one I lived" Jean thought. Robert nodded.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"I was ten years old" Jean began. "And i saw my best friend Annie get run over by a car."

Bobby gasped. Robert looked at the floor, sad at the circumstances, but still relieved he didn't have to say it against her will.

" And then it got worse. My telepathy kicked in for the first time and I... was in her mind when she died."

"Oh my god" Bobby said. "Jeannie..." he moved over and hugged her. Jean's tears kept falling.

"It felt like I died too. I couldn't help her, and she just faded away, like... water passing thru my fingers." booby hel her closer and she let a couple of sobs slip out. Robert stroked her back, trying to comfort her as best he could as well.

"After that, i... drew in on myself. I guess I was catatonic. Until the Professor found me. This was years before I joined the X-Men" She continued. Bobby looked shocked at Robert, who held up his index finger to his lips. Jean leaned away from Bobby.

"He helped me by locking away my powers until I was mature enough to handle them. And I got better." Jean said, a final sob escaping. They sat in silence for a while until Robert spoke up.

"Jean's power had just come back, she... didn't know the whole of how to use them... and she heard me thinking about what I was going to do. She panicked and... Stopped me."

"But... that's not bad", Bobby said.

"No, if that was all she did." Robert said. Jean looked away. "She didn't mean to do what she did, but... She wanted my pain to go away, roots and all. And... because she didn't know exactly what to do, and because she was in a real panic... she didn't just cut off the pain." Bobby looked back at Jean.

"She cut it all off" Bobby finished. "She-

"It wasn't her", Robert interrupted. "The Jean in front of you didn't do it." Bobby looked back at Robert.

"So... you don't... feel anything?" Now Bobby's eyes were tearing up.

"I have all sorts of feelings, just not..." Robert sighed. "Just not any attraction to men."

The trio fell silent again. Jean looked at Robert.

"I'm sorry", she said.

"Not you fault", Robert replied. "But now you know what might happen if your'e not careful."

"So..." Bobby said. "Am I bi? Or... how can you be straight?"

"Little bit bi." Robert shrugged. "Like... 90% Men, 10% women, or something like that. And when the 90% disappeared as a possibility... the 10% or whatever was what was left. I kinda made do with that."

"You never asked Charles or Jean to fix it?" Bobby asked.

"There's a saying: If being gay is a choice, who in their right mind would make the choice to be gay." Robert replied. "And, in any case, it couldn't be undone. Jean didn't just cut it off, she cut it out. No neural pathways left or whatever. Dead piece of space in my mind."

"Oh God," Jean said. "I really am sorry, Bobby."

"Not your fault," Robert said again.

"Yet." Jean said softly. Robert didn't know what to say to that.

He looked back at Bobby.

"For what it's worth... if I could have it undone... I would."

Bobby looked up at him.

"Really? But..?"

"Those 10% aren't enough most times" Robert said sadly. "I don't know if they ever will be. I've loved a couple of women, and I keep trying, but... i don't know. Maybe I just haven't met the right girl yet."

The three sat still again.

"Anyway", Robert said. "Go be gay. Date Victor, don't date Victor. Don't worry about the others, they're still gonna love you, and don't worry about me. I know who I am. And when you go back... well. That's something you'll deal with when that happens."

He got up, wiping away a tear that had formed.

"I'm gonna go get that leftover pizza. I think we've earned it." Robert said and left the room.

Jean held Bobby as the young man cried for his own future and for Robert's past.

And then a bright light shined on the horizon. A second Earth appeared in the sky. And the future - and the past - changed.


End file.
